Let me preface this post with saying I am not even sure why I am writing it. I have no idea what my intentions are, or where I will be taking it. If you don’t care about my personal life, do not waste your time.
No one understands me or what I want. I guess I don’t make it very clear, either. I go into friendships with guys informing them that our relationship will go no further than friends. I do it for them, honestly. If I go into being friends, having slumber parties, spending most of my time with him, he tends to think I want him. If these things lead to hooking up, so be it, but we can still be friends. A girl needs to get some as much as men do. To me, the big thing is honesty. Don’t subtly start “missing” my text messages, or making excuses why you can’t hang out. If you feel like you or I am getting to attached for a friends with benefits ordeal, let’s talk it out. Do you WANT to be involved more than close friends who just so happen to hook up? Is that what I want? I do want to be with someone, but I want it to happen. I don’t want to start seeing someone hoping we are compatible, I’d like to be friends who one day realize how perfect for one another we really are.
I had the most perfect “relationship” with this one boy when I lived in Orlando. We met at some random house party, and before I had gotten home he sent a facebook friend request. He asked me to hangout, and in college life, that means hook up. Whatever, who cares, right? I didn’t. We hungout once, then all the time. We would slumber often, go to school together, laugh, stay up all night, watch movies, cuddle, skip classes to lay in bed for hours longer, hold hands, kiss goodbye...at the end of the day, though, we were still just friends. That was okay. Actually, that was perfect. There were no expectations, nor did he ever distanced himself thinking I was getting “attached.” News flash: NOT ALL FEMALES ARE CLINGY. Maybe 99% of them, but honestly, I think a long distance relationship will be my best bet because I can’t deal with someone 24/7. Obviously, I moved away and that ended. I just hate thinking about it, because it was so perfect.
I hate sleeping alone, and having no one who to talk to and laugh with at the end of the day.