But things have been really busy lately. I am in classes full time and typically working 6-7 days a week, which has been terrible. Tonight, I am sad. I will come back to my reasons for being sad, but first I will tell you about my spectacular boyfriend because I have yet to give you all the details.
His name is Mike, and yes he lifts(most important, obvi). He’s 27 and works for an airline(no he is not a pilot or flight attendant, he is in marketing). He’s so great to me. Our first date was like a movie; we went to dinner(eeekkk my first real date) and then grabbed a bottle of wine and sat on a small private beach and got to know each other. He lives about an hour south, so he had planned on staying up here and booked a hotel in order to hang out the next day. Needless to say, I stayed at the hotel BUT NEEDING TO SAY he didn’t even TRY to have sex with me. There were lots of cute, sweet kisses, cuddles, and talking, but no advancements(which I really appreciate because I can never say no to people, especially people I am trying to impress). The next day he took me on yet another real date. Before we met,(it was kind of a blind date, but we had talked quite a bit) I had told him I am a history nerd…..sooooo, he planed a date to the Flagler Museum(if you’re ever in Palm Beach, it is amazing) and lunch. We have spent a bit of time together since, and he is very good to me. He brings me flowers regularly, he cooks, he is okay with me never wanting to wear real clothes(only gym clothes and underwear), he helps with my psychotic ways, he’s just overall pretty awesome. We are supposed to be leaving for NYC next Wednesday. Which brings me to why I am a sad kitty tonight.
So, through his job at the airline he has great benefits. One of which he(and 2 buddies, yearly) fly for free. This year he chose me and his best friend, Daniel. It’s pretty awesome, and we have planned our trip to NYC based on that. Well, his list was supposed to be updated on the first and he went and checked with them Monday because it hadn’t been updated yet; they said friday at the latest. So, it’s Friday and the list isn’t updated in the system. It’s not the end of the world, but it still got me bumming pretty hard, which led me to this negative spiral.
I am so insecure. Like, sometimes, I think I am losing myself. Things might get back to where they used to be, and I will despise myself all over again. I am insecure in my relationship, and it’s so childish. I am so thankful that Mike tries to understand, or at least we can talk about it. He always makes me feel better, once I tell him I am insecure. Why would anyone as great as him, settle for someone like me?He constantly tells me I am his prize, and he wins.
Right now, school sucks. It’s so busy, work is so busy, and that also has me bummed a little. Don’t get me wrong, I have turned into quite the homebody since my wild times previous to October. I just miss doing things that aren’t homework, sleep, eat, gym.
I’m also gearing up to move. Right now I am living at my dads, which is great. He is very easy going, easy to live with, and I pay no bills. I have been working on transferring to FAU for nursing, and that is down south. There is no way I can commute. My job is screwing me over, working me 6,7,8 shifts where I make very little money on those shifts. Being in school full time, I do not have extra time to waste. Before I was in classes, my mentality was “30$ I didn’t have before.” But Now I have to think of it as “that 30$ isn’t worth failing my class or not studying.” My old boss has offered me a great job, ensuring good shifts, at another ale house. I’m working too often, for not enough money. I can’t live stressing like this, and although I will have more bills, I will have a great schedule making money every week. The location will be very close to Mike, as well, and he has promised to help me budget and do my meal prep if I will clean up (:
Leaving my current gym will probably be one of the most traumatic experiences I have encountered in a while. Those people are my family. I am not sure a crossfit affiliate will ever win my heart the way the people at my gym now have. I’m willing to give it a shot however, because training is the only thing I do anymore that I love.
So tumblr, that is my update. I needed to get it out. NYC is not the only reason I am upset(that would be silly and dramatic), I just don’t want to put it ALL out there. That is, however, what began my spiral this eve. Now you know about my boyfriend, and plans for the next few months.
ps idk why I write all these things, no one reads my tumblr anyhow. lol I guess I just needed to have it in writing, because I am feeling slightly better.
i could use help finding an affiliate down south (: